Childhood Obesity

So recently I saw a news report on Childhood Obesity (if you ask yourself why I have begun to watch the news the answer is because Munster is boring. Ciric works every morning at 6 am, even on the weekend....and like I'm gonna call Fandl, COME ON!). Anyways I disagreed with everything on the report. They said it was the parents fault for not being able to handle their kids and be responsible. I think it is the school systems fault personally. Now a days schools are just too nice, and they have banned teasing and dodgeball. Those are the two ways you help keep kids away from obesidity. Think back to 5th grade; you never wanted to be made fun, but you loved making fun of kids. This fact alone kept you from eating everyone's McDonalds.

Just try and tell me that when you see these 2 kids you don't want to just start making fun of them or pelt them with a dodgeball. Sure they might cry, but it will make them tougher so they can handle the real world. There isn't always going to be someone there to protect you, so I say lets stop sheltering these fatties and tell them what we think. In the words of Pat (to me sadly), "lose some weight you fatass!".

In the loop

There happens to be a few homeless people in the loop. I walk by them before and after work and they all ask me for change. Here are some recent ones that I enjoyed because they stood out:

"My girlfriend and I are homeless. I need change to call her" - Call her where?

"I'm going to Vegas" (holding a cup)
Me- Nice, I've never been there
"It's in the desert"
Me -"You are going East, start walking West...a lot"

"Gimme a hundred dollars" - I give him points for originality

"Say good sir, can I interest you in a boat I am selling" - On the beach

"Some change sir?" - Then pulled out a cell phone and answered it!?

The Purdue bum was by far my favorite. Some days he would ask for a quarter, some days he would just say hello, some days just nod. He was a smart bum because he would ask you one out of every three times you walked by. So it worked for me...once and a while. Probably becuase he would remember people and not ask everytime regardless of the fact that 1000 people walked by him everyday.

The Church of Paris

Paris Hilton is becoming a nun?


She has turned to God?


No...now she is talking to Buddah?





These are all thoughts that have crossed my mind recently with the multiple reports on Paris trying to get out/stay out of prison. Paris has been seen carrying the self-help book "The Power of Now" and a copy of the Holy Bible (probablly stolen from a motel room) around Beverly Hills. She apparently is trying to shed her party girl/porno girl image, and become a woman of God. (I am pretty sure to be a woman of God you must be STD free, not sure on that one though).

During her most recent court appearance she reportedly turned to her parents several times, and mouthed, "I love you." At one point, she made the sign of the cross and appeared to be praying. Great stunts that I am posotive she did not think of on her own, but the judge still sent her back to jail, and justice was served.

Assistant City Attorney Dan F. Jeffries argued that Hilton’s incarceration was purely up to the judge. “Her release after only three days erodes confidence in the judicial system, and this reversal proves that no one is above the law” he said. Somewhere I can't help but think O.J. Simpson is watching this all on T.V. and having himself a good laugh!

I hope Chad is happy

Like you really had to tell Paris that you two are over on today of all days. You are such an ass.

The next June 17, 1994?

I am updating live on the Paris Hilton case because I'm a total waste case and have nothing better to do. I don't think anyone is actually checking the blog right now but I was just wondering what anyone thinks the over/under is on whether or not she takes a Pink Bronco to the court house. She could hold a cell phone up to her head the entire time and threaten to shave her head.

I woke up at 5:30

I mean seriously... if you are dealing with people that have sleep problems, do you think it is wise to deprive them of sleep even more? I for one don't, but until I become the chancellor of Earth, I will have to submit to the wills of others. Damn democracies...

Anyways, so I had to go back in to the sleep lab to do another test. This time, it was because I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea and had to be hooked up to a breathing machine because apparantly I have become to lazy to do that myself. I spoke with the doctor after my first lab and he said, "What you have is what we call severe sleep apnea." He said it so scary that I thought thunder was going to clap in the background and a slow zoom would happen on the Doctor's face as he laughed... but it didn't. I hate real life. He informed me that I decided to not breathe 88 times on average an hour during my first sleep lab. I told him I was just seeing how long I could hold my breath. He did not find this entertaining.

So I find myself once again in the hotel room inside a hospital, only this time I got the shitty suite. My view was of a gravel roof, the recliner was positioned beneath the TV so I had to stand up to watch it, and then, like my mother, the technician turned off the TV at halftime during the Finals... but I hear Jordan pulled it off.

It was all pretty much the same stuff as last time except this time I had to wear a mask that made me look like Maverick from Top Gun.

I told the technician she was dangerous and chomped my teeth at her... ICEMAN style.

This morning when she woke me up, I contemplated recreating the scene from Star Wars Ep III when Anakin becomes Vader. You know, slowly sit up and then turn to her and ask in a really low voice, "What happened to Padme?" Then when she said what I would go, "NOOOOOOOO" and the room would rattle and lights would break and little valves out of nowhere would shoot out steam. But instead I just acted like I was asleep still so I could sleep more, but once again like my Mom, she did not believe me. I bet she would have believed me if I were Vader...

Well, that is about the extent of my stay, I'm sure you all are really excited to hear about it. Hope the summer is going well for all and for those of you in Indy, BAC, The Chad, tonight is the night for Broad Ripplings... Prost!

Diesel Out!

Yeah well, I don't have anything to do on a Friday evening assclowns.

A Photo Journal Of Diesel and I's V(g)acation.
(All photos have been edited for your pleasure)

the first thing we did was jump right into the pool...stupid low flying clouds get in the way of a great shot.
Next I showed Diesel my crazy hops. You can't tell from here but that is a waxed back for your viewing enjoyment.
Next I took some shots of Diesel for his modeling portfolio.
Diesel told some local ladyfolk to stop fighting for his attention. After fostering peace he said, "There's enough Diesel for me to pull both those trailers..."
This candid shot caught him unawares as he was conducting his "gun show" for a kind elderly lady.
Finally I took this picture of me alone. But then I decided to add a girl to it so I would look cooler and too cool off the sexy with only one nipple. Then I figured I didn't want any girls getting mad for posting their picture on the website so I edited her face out. Then I added this sweet facial hair.

Well that's it for our trip. Cross your fingers. Diesel's got a shoot for Teen Beat next Wednesday.