The Rainman

Pacman Jones, after being suspended from football for the season, has decided to try his skills at another "sport," Pro Wresting! Pacman was recently approached by Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling to "participate in their line of entertainment." Maybe now he can hit women on t.v., but don't worry everyone, its not real. From now on I will be referring to him as the "Rainman" because he is definately as retarted as the real rainman, only at least Dustin Hoffman could count cards, Pacman just hits strippers.

Retard......

Just think, this could be him in less than a month!

it speaks for itself

I thought this was appropriate...

I wish I could forget about this....

After the Bears lost the Super Bowl, Pat and Jeremy went on a rampage in and around my room. It was kind of funny watching Jeremy copy everything Pat did. Pat smashed a bar stool, Jeremy smashed a bar stool; Pat smashed a painting, Jeremy shattered a Grey Goose* bottle. Then they both sat down and had a good cry, until they passed out. Wait why would I ever want to forget about that? At least they were both wearing their own pants; which can be difficult to do….am I right Miss Lohan?

*The Grey Goose bottle had been filled with McCormicks the week before, Pat wanted to look cool in front of some Kappas, i.e. McNutt.

I'll never forget about this

I'm so glad they are turning into a dynasty now. Nothing like staying dominate to get me hot.

PS 100% animals that the Cubs choke hard this year and then choke hard on some dong in the off season.

I Totally Forgot About This.

You can't see it but just into the foreground Jeff Saturday is licking his own nipple for Peyton and Tony.

I totally forgot that the Colts won the Super Bowl. Just making sure no one else similarly forgot. I don't have anything else. I used all my creative fluids working the poll to your right.

What a Day!

I think today has been the weirdest/worst day of work….EVER.

It all started last night when I locked my keys inside my car at the marina where my uncle’s boat is. The biggest problem with not being able to get into my car is the fact that my security badge for work is in my car. So this morning my grandma gives me a ride to work, and on the way I call my boss and tell him what happened. He laughs, then tells me I can still get in to our trailer. The problem with that was that we had no power at our trailer, so we sat in the dark for about an hour while trying to figure out when we may get power back. I took a nap! After we learned that we wouldn’t be getting power back for the rest of the day, my boss decided we would take our laptops to the trailers inside the refinery. Unfortunately I could not go with him due to the fact I was missing my security badge. After taking another short nap I learned that the power had been restored to the trailer across the street. So I snuck in to that trailer and found and empty desk and set up shop. But now the whole system is down so I still can’t do anything. Well it is only 10, so I will keep everyone updated on what is going on. There are rumors of going home early….so cross your fingers.

Email Down!

Our email at work is down for the day, so Klein and I are moving our (pointless) conversations to the blog for the day. Hope no one has any objections.

Dog Fighting is a lucrative business $$$$$$$$

http://www.signonsandiego.com/sports/nfl/arrests.html

Now that NFL Players have started to get arrested on a regular basis, I think we need to take a look at this topic. The first big conviction of an NFL player was back in 1999 when Ray Carruth decided to try and kill his then girlfriend who was pregnant with his child. Carruth went to the police and posted a $3 million bond, with the condition that if either Cherica or Chancellor died, he would turn himself in. However, after Adams died, Carruth became a fugitive. The Panthers released him a few days later, citing a morals clause in his contract. He was eventually captured after being found hiding in the trunk of a car outside a motel in Parkers Crossroads, Tennessee. Also, in the trunk was $3,900 in cash, bottles to hold Carruth's urine, extra clothes, candy bars, and a cell phone. Now, I know that its every little kids dream to live off of candy bars, but this is taking it a little too far. There was even a Law and Order episode based on his conviction. Most recently we have Michael Vick.........."oh Michael".........that term used to be synonymous with the one and only Michael Jackson, a child rapist, but now we have another Michael to "oh Michael."

Vick has been in the police spotlight recently due to his apparent funding of a large dog-fighting operation. The Atlanta Falcons have told Vick not to come to training camp, which starts the same day he will be arraigned, until the matter is cleared up. The Falcons are not taking any further action until after the league reviews the matter.


What the fuck are these people thinking? What makes an NFL player who signs a 10-year, $130 Million contract want to start a dog fighting ring? Is your life really that boring? Is it really that lucrative of a business that you will make more than $13 million a year betting on fucking dogs???


The link posted above is a list of all NFL players that were arrested since 2000, I encourage you to look at it.


And to prove that Packers fans are crazy and mostly retarded, a Wisconson couple was recently convicted on charges of locking their 7 year old son in a room with nothing but a bucket to use as a toilet while the couple went to a casino to watch Packer's games. The real sad thing is that the father used to be a youth conselor. So Alex, now we know why your brother is so fucked up........

Beakman's World

Now THAT.. was a fucked up TV show. Only in America can you have a show with a giant rat as a lab partner along with a meth head chick and a guy that looks like Bill Nye's retarded cousin. Oh yeah... and for those of you not up on your Saturday morning science shows... Chad's post featured the girl from that show. I thought it was neat to see she's still around. Check it out.

She actually isn't half bad looking now though... i mean... I would let her know.

That's from my personal autographed memorabilia of her. She can empty my beaker any time. heh heh... oh god even i kinda feel perverted by that.

Party?

The keg order goes in tomorrow so it looks like I don't suck at party planning. I just need to know who is actually going to come and when you kids want to show up. I don't care if you come down on Friday or Saturday but I will be picking up the keg on Friday and testing it for poison so that may or may not change your opinion of forcing yourself to be around me for an extra night. The best part for those of you who haven't ever been to the house is that there are some sweet signs pointing to the house since it was on the market. The house is actually sold (aka we can trash it hardcore) but the signs are still up to fake out poor people into thinking they may have a change someday at cover. Bastards. So yeah just leave a comment or call me about your plans for the weekend. If you aren't coming (poppe) you can suck my balls and expect me to leave you a mean spirited voicemail. I refuse to proofread.

how the work place should be

minute mark 3 is great

Oh my god, I'm back again...

Hey everyone, it's been awhile and believe me... I heard your cries... I shall write once again.

Well this summer is going extremely slow and much like Adam, I too am working for valuable work experience and little money only its been ok because I am working with the Colts. Oh, and for the illinois people and the Northern Indiana people who claim to be a part of Chicago even when their dad is a mayor in INDIANA... the Colts are a football team in the NFL that are currently World Champions. They beat some team last year for the title... it was exciting. Anyways, on to a day in the life of a college graduate without a real job.

I usually show up to "work" about 8 minutes early to try and impress my boss that I am punctual and care about my job... she does not care. Instead I sit down in front of her desk and begin my grueling day of work.

Work usually consists of me sitting and doing nothing while she checks emails and talks on the phone to people. I just sit and read the 9 million inspirational quotes on her wall such as, "If you can't do anything about it --- Why worry? If you can do something about it --- Why worry?" Ummm, I don't get it either.


Next, and this is only if she is swamped, she will ask me to walk up to the front of the building and shred some papers. I did get to shred Brady Quinn's information release form from the combine the other day and I honestly thought about trying to eBay it... what could I get for that Chad??? It had the boy toys autograph on it which actually looked like my signature in the third grade... without the heart for the A of course.

After a little office sitting and staring, I get to go out to practice and run the chains which is a blast. I have always wanted to be the guy that reaches up and switches the down marker and now I can honestly say I have done that. The only time I screwed up so far I got yelled at by Peyton and Tom Moore... DAMMIT Ryan, you didn't review the tapes... Peyton must be so dissapointed.

I have had a few run ins with players so far and that has been neat. Jeff Saturday asked me if I owned a gun, Adam Vinatieri gave me a really excited, "What's happenin' man!" and Peyton Manning walked past me without looking at me. The whole restraining order has really put a damper on our relationship.

Anyways, I am headed off to Summer Camp to be a little bitch there for 4 weeks so I may not get to do many stories. I hope you all don't miss me and I am very upset that I can't go to the 90's party. I do a mean Zach Morris with my hair (which is getting nice and wavy and blonde right now). So I bid you all adieu and remind you to say hello to Beckham tonight. 5 bucks says he starts the game...

I just titled all over the keyboard

Well guys, it's been a while since I've enlightened you on the inner working of my steel trap, as well as the goings and comings of my day to day grind, so I thought I would shine some light on what's been going on lately.

Most Important Item:
I bought one of those fancy projectors, so I can finally watch the Office on a fifteen foot screen like God intended me to. I don't really watch that much tv so this was probably a poor purchase. But imagine how awesome the Arsenal-Tottenham derby(pronounced darby) match will be on Saturday morning at 9:00 a.m.

Least important item: Work...it's boring, same way it is for everyone. Except almost everyone else gets paid in real dollars and not "valuable work experience"

90's Party: I spent the majority of the nineties wearing mesh shorts...so is that what I'm supposed to wear? I could probably unearth some No Fear (t-shirt brand, not dangerous liquid)shirt with an attitude filled diatribe about the wonders of baseball on it. I think it should be mandatory that we all go back to our mid-90's haircut, which means I will be rocking the hair combed over to the right (left is for homos). I will also be putting my braces back on, and we will be trading baseball and basketball cards. "Inserts" will be tough to come by. High tops will be a must. Also, as a sweaty kid, I convinced my mom to allow me to wear shorts as long as it was at least 50 degrees outside, and I will be holding to that.

Surprisingly, not too many people have been pissing me off this summer. Other than the guy at work who never goofs off or looks at random stuff on the Internet at work. And that doesn't really piss me off in a "god i hate that guy" way, more in a "how can you possibly sit there all day and never take a break even to eat lunch" kind of way.

I got to watch a preliminary injunction hearing on the disposal of the deadly nerve gas VX this week. So that's my claim to history for the week. Can't believe people are all up in arms about us shipping a diluted weapon of mass destruction in big plastic containers on semi trucks on the short trip from Indiana to Texas. What could be safer? I know that I would trust my life to people who spend the majority of their nights in places called "Stuckeys" Who can pass up home cooking? Or restroom sodomy?*

I've been riding my bike over to my friend's house this summer. Combine that with the fact that i took off a day of work last week to go to Cedar Point with my family and I have officially traded in the age 23 for the age 14.

I turn 24 in November, which officially tolls my yearlong challenge of killing at least one terrorist.

Final Note: If anyone knows of a way to get the picture of Will Ferrell that hangs over the bride and groom's table at the wedding in Old School...well I will sex you so hard you won't be able to hear right.

done.


*At least I'm pretty sure something of that nature occurred in Dumb and Dumber between SeaBass and Lloyd Christmas.

[insert title]

So I need everyone to move all breakable items away from themselves because the moment everyone has been waiting for has finally arrived. I will be having the long awaited 90's party on the 28th of July and all of you (not Chad though) are invited. This year will also be sans creepy older guys so it should be an even bigger flop. Booze will flow (provided the keg doesn't run dry), so bring your drinking hats, and food will probably be stolen from a neighbors, so get excited!


This will also be a contest for the best comment from someone not on the blog with the prize being a possible invite if you are a slutty, at least decent (I have zero standards) looking girl. Get to posting! Beers cheers!

A Cubs game and a Poison Concert......

So I'm at the Cub's game, sitting in the bleachers. I was really something outragous would happen so that I would have a good story about my first bleacher game when all of a sudden in the top of the 8th Guillermo Rodriguez singled to left and Pedro Feliz scored. I was thinking, all right, something has to happen now because these guys are all pissed. Then at the bottom of the inning Ramirez hit a double to deep left and "The Riot," Ryan Theriot and Derek Lee scored causing everyone to throw full cups of beer from the bleachers onto the field. First it was left field, then right field, they had to stop playing cause there were so many cups. All of a sudden, in order to show the world how much Barry Bonds sucks, I took the half full bottle of vodka that we brought into the game and chucked it right out into center field, almost hitting the center fielder Dave Roberts.

Where I threw the bottle

After the game we went to a bar where we found a strange hot dog man:

He was dancing and giving out tickets for free hot dogs. Then I decided it was so important to go hang out with Lonnie and Dan that I ran from Wrigley all the way back to Durkins......not a great idea......


Lets not forget about the all important Poison concert that I was forced to go to on Tuesday. Next time these guys are in town you should really think about going to see them. Before you go though, you need to be sure to get yourself a nice black cutoff, get out your mullet wig, and shred those whitewashed jeans, cause aparently some people still think this is 1989!

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work=suxx0rz

Something is wrong here

The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Los Angeles has to pay out $660 million to victims of "clergy abuse".

I don't know which is worse:
-There was over 550 cases which is obsurd (assuming no one was just jumping on the wagon and claiming to be abused). What the fuck was going on there?

or

-Parishioner's were suing the church. Is this money really going to make you feel better?? I mean sue the church? Thanks for closing some little kid's school and neighborhood churches. BTW, its even better that 40% of the plaintiff's settlement is going to the attorneys. I hope they enjoy hell.**

**Adam & Sharpe - - BTW, I can see Sharp being okay with this $$$ ha ha.

When Will they get here?

I have been waiting for my two free iPod Nano's forever now. Everyday that fucking lady reminds me that i've won them, and every day i go to get the mail and there are no free iPods there. I'm going to go see if Barry has any advice on a lawsuit.

There Here!

David Beckham and wife Victoria, a.k.a Posh Spice, arrived in LA last night with their 3 children around 8:20 pm last night. Beckham, who has returned to the England lineup after initially being dropped following the 2006 World Cup, is scheduled to make around $32.5 million over five years with the Galaxy. It is rumored that he will be worth around $250 million after endorsements. Curious to here everyones opinion on whether or not Beckham will take soccer to the next level in America.

Breaking National News!

The following news is coming over the wire-college girls from New Jersey are kinda trashy.



Take a deep breath and let this life changing info in. This hard hitting journalism has absolutely taken me off my game today. Seriously, I can barely watch TV my life is so rocked. I refuse to believe that a beauty pageant winner from New Jersey would get drunk in college and take mildly inappropriate pictures. A beauty queen doing something stupid/slutty? I just absolutely refuse to believe it. Young ladies from New Jersey have such a stellar reputation that it must be a joke to even mention these lies. The worst part of this is that the media is also trying to mutate the most harmless college holiday, Halloween, into something that girls use as an excuse to be slutty. What? They must hate candy. Sojo is absolutely enraged.


I have just viewed the pictures and I can say for a fact that they aren't even close to hot. After some hard hitting investigating I can say for a fact that they aren't even worth attempting to masturbate to. The only one that is even remotely hot is one where a guy is biting her boob. Whoops, did I accidentally type hot?


My real problem with this whole story is the fact that it is so completely useless. If any of you can say off the top of your head who won the biggest pageant in your state then I will give you ten dollars.* This isn't a story. The only way I would care about Miss (Ms?) Illinois is if she
1.) had at some point been tricked into hooking up with me
2.) would eventually hook up with me
3.) did porn
That's really it. Also, only in New Jersey would this be a plot worth attempting. The extorters were even too retarded to ask for money. Nice. I'm pretty sure then that this investigation is over because the only other people who would care about Miss NJ losing her crown would be the chick who got second. Find the one family member smart enough to operate a phone and BOOM! case closed. Fuck you Nancy Drew. Hey, that kinda rhymed.


*I will also even call Sojo and inform him that one of his friends has ten bucks which they would like to spend at a gay bar. Odds are he will even pay cover.

Purdue better then OU in 05'

The NCAA recently made Oklahoma “forfeit” all of their wins from the 2005 season, for using ineligible players Rhett Bomar and J.D. Quinn, leaving the Sooners with an 0-11 record for 2005. This “officially” makes Purdue better then OU for the 2005 season, and the person who is most pleased with this situation is ex Purdue quarterback Brandon Kirsch*. Yea Kirsch may have only won 2 games in his 6 starts during the 05’ year, but at least he was funny, and that is 2 more then Rhett Bomar won. Kirsch’s antics around campus were at the very least humorous: breaking his hand at SNU his freshman year after attempting to punch someone, but instead hitting a wall, getting thrown out of the bars repeatedly, and who could forget his infamous comment about “jumping in to the stands, and fighting everyone” after the fans booed him for the Northwestern** loss. Congrats Kirsch at least you weren’t the worst QB in 05’!

*After declaring for the draft after his horrible junior year, Kirsch (undrafted) went to play for the Colorado Rush of the Arena Football League. He is currently the back up QB.

**If you throw 2 interceptions and lose to Northwestern you should get booed.

for all you sheep lovers out there

i meant sheep fuckers

Thats not funny?

This summer I have learned that my sense of humor has no place in the work world. Whenever I think something is funny it seems no one else does, and when they think something is funny I don’t. Maybe it is the fact that I am still in college, but here are some examples of things that made me laugh, and caused everyone else to wonder why I was laughing.

1). Busy Beaver – I was called a “Busy Beaver” when I came in to work early one morning. It made me want to open up my pornosaurus, and look up some terms.

2). Abbreviating Cumulative but not putting a period at the end so it looks like this: cum Bonus points when someone rights it like this: cum amt. I like to think I have a high cum amt.

3). “Just give it a good blow.” This gentleman was voicing his opinion on how to get the dust out of the copier. This was a Tobias* type comment, a much better phrasing could have been used.

4). “Lets just Gang Bang it.” This was said in a meeting when a guy was referring to all the different companies working together to finish a project quickly. I think in a “gang bang” I would like to try and finish as quickly as possible.

*Tobias comments:
“I pre-maturely shot my wad, it was suppose to be a dry run, and now I have a bit of a mess on my hands”
“You can sink your arrow in to my buttocks anytime.”
“Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.”

HA! My Kind of Day...

For anyone who is too lame to get the title quote -- it is from, what i argue to be, possibly one of the greatest Batman films of all time, Batman Forever. Why you ask? Mostly because Tim Burton sucks and this was the best film from that era of Batman... the new era is looking to be promisingly better... however, this is not why I'm writing this post. Oh no, today was a good day in the life of Ryan W. Poppe.... I gotta stop giving out my info. Soon beautiful babies from all over will be stalking me and to be honest........ thats awesome. I also love elipses.

Anyways, tonights blog shall be about why today was so great for me.

I woke up today at the crack of noon. (I love being an intern... they expect so little of you). Next I decided that I would go downstairs and catch up on the exciting world of sports but got sidetracked when I watched the video of Stu Scott being made fun of by Chad Johnson. What a great video.



Then I basically sat around until my roommates (i.e. my parents) got home and my dad thought we should all have a cocktail on the back porch before my sister and her boyfriend got home. I thought this was a great idea too because I love alcohol... in fact, I know everything there is to know about alcohol. Especially things like.. it makes me laugh, play mid 90's tunes on my guitar (read my last post) and fall over to the likes of my friends. So we have a couple of drinks and I am feeling toasty. We go to Bella Vita in Indy which is Italian for something like "45 year old women who have boob jobs and tan too much like to go here to eat dinner and try and cheat on their husbands." Did I type that out loud??? Anyways, we have a couple of martinis... and if I have learned anything it is that martinis are like tits... One is not enough and three is too many.

So I have three.

Needless to say I am drunk and enjoying dinner too much when we decide to go back to the house and have some more drinks and a cigar.

My dad decided today however that he was going to live the "High Life" and he bought a case of Miller High Life. I'm not sure if it was the Champagne of Beers line that got him or if it was the funny fat black dude, but I have no explanation for why my dad decided that High Life would be good. So I choke down and couple of High Lifes, have a cigar that I'm pretty sure may have started puberty for me and then I go to meet my friends at the Beer Sellar.

The Beer Sellar is great. I love the Beer Sellar. What a great name. We order drinks, the waitress is cute, and I even think she likes me... but then again she probably just got off work from Hooters next door and is used to whoring herself out for tips.

So we continue drinking and the guy who was playing guitar was mentally mind fucking me because he was like a jukebox in my head. He kept playing every song I wanted to hear but he would only play about 47 seconds of a song before he switched to a new song. When he mixed Comfortably Numb with Breakfast at Tiffany's I knew he was it... He just secured his spot at number 20 on the if I were gay list. Congratulations bar guitar singer guy... you are number 20.

For some reason... and I think it was the fact that I was asking people if it would be ok for me to smash my glass over this weirdos head because he looked funny... it was decided that we would go home. I got to listen to Creeping Death by Metallica on the way home which is enough to make me want to kick a baby in the head... politically correct??? no. True??? Yes. (and for a great bit on pregame music which features this song visit Kissing Suzy Kolber).

Needless to say I am really drunk right now and super pumped but I thought I would share it all with you. So... with that said, much love, I'm going to bed, and I will see you all in the morning. Peace! Cheers! and Prost!

Diesel OUT!

Scaredy Pat

So I'm pretty freaked out about the idea of someone buying Michael Vick's old house. I once read this story on CNN or something about how this cemetary for pets was on an indian barial and all the pets started to come back to life and kill people! Shit! I'm curious to find out whether or not Michael Vick's "pet cemetary" house was on an indian grave site but we all now how well some animals with curiosity end up. I instead am going to put out on open call to all young children who have recently buried their dog to go down to wherever Vick's pet death zone is and promptly stop the threat.

ps-fuck indians. You never did anything all that great (except for drink, die, and rob your own people of nearly as much as the government, and be much sexier than pat) and I refuse to capitalize.
pss-sorry in advance to Klein because he has to have some indian blood in him due to his love of knives and fire water

Southern Hospitality

I was recently reading a forum about college football; in which all SEC fans said that teams like Ohio State, USC, and Texas would lose 3 or 4 games every year in their conference. This made me laugh, and I almost commented but I realized that it is not worth arguing with these people. They do not understand the rest of the country and have not for some time. If you need any evidence about their sanity; then just think about how they STILL reenact Civil War* Battles. In some cases, if there are not enough Union soldiers present, Confederate soldiers are asked to change sides, or become galvanized yankees, for the day/event. That is pathetic for the South. Obviously the rest of the country wants to put this, embarassing time for our country, behind us and will not even participate in these events, and yet the Southerners continue to reenact these battles. I think that we need to do a better job limiting sibling marriages** in the South, because obviously our current rules are not working.

*In the south it is referred to as the “War of Northern Aggression”.
** We definitely need to at least stop them from inbreeding, like Frank from “Always Sunny in Philadelphia” said “banging your sister is wrong”.

Things That Make Me Mad

It's been awhile since I did one of these, but recently, lots of different events have been happening that have driven me to the edge. It's now time to vent. However, for this segment in my Things That Make Me Mad volume, I will stick solely to social events that involve drinking. Think of it as a 60 minutes special edition kind of deal. Here we go!

People who can't get my name right.
I was born with a normal name. My name is Ryan. Oh god, now its out in the open, I hope I don't get stalked. And if I do you will be greatly dissapointed. Anyways, I tend to be formal when meeting people at bars and when I am introduced to new people I usually say, "Hi, I'm Ryan." Simple enough yet many people still tend to scream back at me, "Brian?!?!" This is fine, I'm still not bothered, I usually say, "No, it's Ryan... RRRRRRyan." However, if they scream back at me, "Brian?!?!" again, I get very, very, angry. Just think of the Hulk if instead of turning green he turned pale white. The reason I get angry is because if you were questioning the first time if my name was Brian, and I said anything other than, "CORRECT!" why would you repeat the obviously wrong name again, only louder, making it that much more annoying. This is when I tell them my last name which in a loud drunken environment is pandoras box of problems when opened, leading me to the next thing that makes me mad which is...

People who find my last name funny.
My last name is Poppe. Not Pop-E, not Pope-y, not Popay, not poop. Saying any of these in a laughing tone is enough to make me not like you... ever. My name is exactly like the Catholic guy, the Pope. This is usually how I explain to people how you say my last name after they can't discriminate between Ryan and Brian. This generally leads to the obvious joke that everyone seems to like when they say, "Hey, haha, where's the lawyer and the rabbi? Get it... get it?" Yeah... I got it... good one.

Red Headed girls who buy Red Headed Sluts
Yeah, we get the fact that you have red hair and that there so happens to be a drink with your hair color in the name. However, contrary to popular belief, I do not find it "neato" that you feel like this drink was named after you. I think that I have been attracted to maybe one red headed girl in my life and by saying I was attracted to her I mean she had big boobs and they distracted me from her god awful hair color.

Girls who sing and dance to "Like A Prayer"
I don't think I have ever met a girl who doesn't have some kind of retarded dance that she and her friends all made up one night to "Like A Prayer" by Madonna. As soon as the song comes on they all go apeshit and race around the entire bar rounding up the troops so they can all show the guys they are talking to some halfassed Spice Girls-esque dance. It's almost as bad as when everytime a Journey song comes on, every guy in the bar starts singing the song in a horrible Steve Perry imitation voice. Let's just say I think we said all we needed to say with Journey back in the 80s... let's leave them be.

The Acoustic Guitar Player at the House Party
This is going to be the last one because this really pisses me off. However, there is a fine line for this one. I will be the first to admit that I LOVE to play guitar when I am drunk. I love to warble out songs because I find it funny. This, if you ask me, is ok. And since I am writing this piece and am laying out the ground rules, it shall remain ok. What I dislike is when a guy sits down and starts to play some John Mayer or god help me if I hear an attempt at a Dave Matthews Band song again. I mean, can girls truly smell the desperation? I don't know whether to go kick him or congratulate him on finding the legal form of rufies. I can't tell you how many people have duped girls into hooking up with them by singing lame songs. It doesn't even matter if you are good or not, if they are drunk and you have no shame, it's like fishing with dynamite. I wont say anymore but I will leave you with this... "I know from experience dude, if you know what I mean."

Well, thats about it, I just become to angry for my own good when I write these things. Well then, lets end it on a good note. I love you all, except for Griz. He's actually number one on the things that piss me off list. Cheers!

Good Eats........

The country of Greece celebrated today at the creation of the ultimate potato chip!

Ingredients include: lamb & mint flavour, cream powder, and lamb powder.

Always remember; the Hoff says, "Be safe, Chad Responsibly."

FINALLY

I have always wanted to witness a robbery, and this past weekend it finally happened in Chicago (right outside Sojo's place). I got out of my cab and saw 2 African American males with black ski masks in their hands. This immediately made me suspicious and I watched them (from the other side of the street) as I waited for Sojo to come let me in to his apartment. I saw them pull the masks on and run in to the 7-11 and 2 minutes later they were sprinting right at Sojo and I. Finally I had my chance to be a hero and foil these 2 males plan*. I of course was not 'hard' enough and ran inside behind Sojo, and we watched (from a window) as they ran down the street**. It was very scary and Sojo almost started crying.



I totally let Charlie down, and next time I will do my best to build my street cred up.


*These 2 males must have spent all of their 'free time' from skipping school to come up with this brilliant plan.
** I did call 911 and reported the crime, so its not like I didn't do anything.

More Than Meets the Eye

In honor of the release of the Transformers live action movie, I thought I would satisfy Adam and I's spank banks with a little old school Transformer action. I doubt a better 80's cartoon was created...ever.