I hate when students laugh really hard at professor's jokes... It's offensive to things that are actually funny. And if professor's are basing grades based on who laughs at their jokes, then go fuck a bunny, right, are you with me?*
*You don't have to be with me on the bunny part.
So we had walk out to U of I a couple of weeks ago, and a crazy thing happened. Colbert got into a fight with the U of I pikes. But the reason he got into a fight is Sojo's fault.
So I am sure we all remember when the spring of 05 pledge class from U of I came here for there walkout. Well Sojo being the complete badass he is decided to run a bathroom session for them because they didnt know the preamble. Lets just say those guys probablly didnt like that.
Fast forward to this years walkout to U of I. Yep those guys that Sojo hazed are now seniors and this is our first walkout there since I was a pledge. Well they wanted to get even and haze some of our guys. So they waited until we all went to the bars. Colbert stayed at the Pike house because he had passed out. Well when he woke up there guys started to try and haze him and Colbert was trying to tell them he was a brother. Well some pushing started, Colbert got punched a few times, and he got thrown out of their house. Ohh and as they were doing this they were saying, "this is for you guys hazing us when we were pledges."
Just thought everyone would enjoy that little story on how Sojo got Colbert beat up.
Well guys it's been a fun ride, but I am leaving. I know this will be tough for you to handle, but I no longer have time for you. Yesterday the Dish Network guy came and installed HD, so I will no longer be needing friends or non-TV related entertainment. Keep up the good work; we really haven't been funny in months just like the title says.
So as my mailbox has exceeded the Purdue limits I have had to go through and delete old emails. I stopped to read a couple that caught my eye and I thought this definitely needed to be shared.
Here's a little story I thought was pretty funny, that I wanted to share with everyone. So I am driving home from work yesterday (Tuesday July 5th), and I am listening to a local radio station here in Indianapolis. They were having a contest and giving away 2 tickets to this concert this Thursday, and the winner was the one who turned in the best drunk dial message from the weekend. So the radio DJ says this is a voicemail left on this guy Chad's voice mail. SO I am listening to this message, and it starts off by saying something like, Chad why dont you ever answer your phone when I call you (side note, this message was left at 3:20 in the morning), you never fucking answer the phone, you should want to talk to me, I am huge like a movie star, I'm a flippin movie star, you should want me autograph...something along those lines, I was laughing pretty hard at the time, because I am thinking to my self this guy kinda sounds like Fandel, and actually he has the stutter effect going just like fandel as well. But I mean Fandl lives in Munster, and this is Indianapolis so it cant be right? Well the voice mail goes on to say, " I fucking hate you Chad, and Clay too, I am going to come down there and rape the both of you!" So then I thought it couldnt be Chad Frazell and Adam Clay, so I call Farzell up, and ask him if hes listening to this, and before I finish he starts dying on the phone, he couldnt believe he got it on the radio for one, and two, it was Fandel on the voice mail drunk as shit. Mean while the DJ is ripping fandle apart, basically calling him a homo, and who says shit like that to someone. So to shorten up this already long story, Fandel made an ass of himself on Indianapolis radio, and because of his drunk dial won Farzell two tickets to this concert on Thursday, and it seems to have made a pretty funny impression, because they played it again on my way to work this morning. Just thought I'd let everyone know about it. Good job Fandel, you continue to succeed in being a complete jackass.
Is there anyway to get this voicemail? I never heard it but the story alone had me laughing pretty hard.
Well, if everyone has seen this before then you can just make some jack ass comment, otherwise, I just saw this and since I have a hatred for Notre Dame, I find it funny.
NDSPN
Here's what I've worked out.
C=Chad
X=Sojo
S=Swain
B=Beno
C=X Chad and Sojo vacillate between who wins; Chad is more persistent, Sojo is meaner.
S>C
S>X Swain owns both Chad and Sojo. Man pride is about psychological dominance, and he's in both of their heads...hard.
B>X But only because Sojo never snapped and killed Beno.
B < C, C < B How can this be? Neither has gotten over high school sports.
So now all we need is for Pat to use his Principles of Logic knowledge and do a proof showing the winner. [Don't insert yourself in Pat, Wii Pride is not equal to Man Pride]
Well, I've given 980 grains of rice. I can't seem to get past vocab level 42.
Here are some pictures of why we shouldn't drink this much. Oh well your only in college once**.
*We are still on Athletic Probation due to a soccer mêlée with Delta Chi in the playoffs (we won the fight, lost the game).
** Well Clay and Pat got to go to College twice, and Klein he is just trying to pull a Van Wilder.
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Trustees of the largest high school district in the country voted 4-1 Monday night to mandate displays bearing the nation's motto — "In God We Trust" — and other historical documents in over 2,300 district classrooms and offices.
Take that you Liberal bastards!
Shove that down your throats and choke on it!
Those six words were uttered by Kevin Bacon during the movie Animal House. What you may not have known is the fact that he was getting spanked in a Pike house. Thats correct the Omega house just so happened to be an actual Pike house. The movie was shot at Oregon which I also didn't know, but found out this weekend from Stewart Mandel's blog. He asked for an Oregon student to show him around this weekend and the kid he picked ended up being a Pike.
Here is an exerpt from his blog:
Long before Joey Harrington or Dennis Dixon, Oregon was best known for … running legend Steve Prefontaine (also a Pike). While I did took a peek into Prefontaine's former stomping grounds, famed track venue Hayward Field, just a little while ago, I have to admit I was much more excited to learn that my host, Eric Goss (who hereby will be referred to solely as "Goss," as everyone on this campus calls him), used to live in the former Omega house from the movie Animal House.
As he said, "Kevin Bacon got spanked in my living room."
That's right, comedy lovers. Animal House was shot at Oregon. Sadly, the fictional Omega house, formerly home to Goss' fraternity, Pike, is now deserted. Even worse, the site of the fictional Delta house -- the building where John Belushi once uttered the words, "Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?" -- is gone. Leveled. Replaced by a faceless doctor's office. Even the front-lawn where Belushi watched the movers "take the bar!" has been paved over by a parking lot. Only a nondescript plaque out front marks the property's claim to fame.
However, in addition to the Omega house next door, Goss also pointed out to me the sorority house where Bluto and D-Day tried to sneak in and the "women's house" where Otter landed himself dates for him and his three friends.
I was once in a fraternity myself, at Northwestern, but ours was kind of a PG-13 fraternity. I'm starting to get the sense that Goss, a "fifth-year senior," is a true frat guy. First of all, he's been taking calls all day from fraternity brothers having to do with some secret ritual* taking place tonight.
*I wonder if that "secret ritual" happened to actually be hazing?
ESPN has informed me at least seven times a day that this game is going on so I'm going to weight in my prediction (guess) of what will happen. My best case scenario, other than Peyton dying, is that this game will end up in a tie. What? I don't want the Colts to lose? Correct. I'm cheering for a tie. Not only a tie but I also want both teams to also not lose any game this season. This would set up two undefeated teams clashing in the AFC championship game. This would go down as the greatest game in the history of sport. The build up would be intense and everyone will be forced by Shaun Salsberry to watch the game. The Pats would then win by fifty and Peyton would bukkake* himself on the sideline.
*I think this is the samurai's way of falling on their sword to kill themselves.
So I'm sitting in Property (hey, I still am) and I am zoning out (hehe, property joke) when this little gem happens. A guy at the end of my row drops the attendance sheet and responds with an audible, "fuck!" Yeah, thats right. Fuck. Normally the usage of this word wouldn't even make me bat one of my perfectly grown eye lashes but this was so out of the blue that I just lost it. It was even more perfect (possible?) because only around five other people heard him and they started to die laughing as well. Just as a cherry on top my Propery teacher is the least confident person I've ever met and she just keeps looking over and acting nervous. I normally hate going to Property but this has made my day.
Why did I capitalize property throughout the entire post? Fuck you, thats why.
