Musings on Personal Growth and Interaction (insert your own penis joke)

What is it about us that makes us feel the need to constantly belittle other people? Does it make us feel better about ourselves? Why is it that everything that we find funny needs to happen at someone else's expense? The Diesel and I discussed this the other day.

I myself am a very bad perpetrator of this habit. I often laugh at other people's expense, even if I know that it might hurt them. I make jokes at other people's expense. And while often I try to make my slights only about less trivial or false matters, the fact of the matter is that doesn't make what I do any less mean spirited. I find myself often noting that someone has crossed the line in his rudeness, when in reality that line has been created in my head for the person being made fun of. It's very possible that the person being made fun of felt the line was crossed much before that. I think that often we perpetuate the fallacy that what we believe is acceptable is the same as that for other people.

Let's be honest; no one (fetishes aside) likes to be made fun of. I personally don't enjoy it very much and often go to fairly large lengths to avoid the occurrence. I can recall many times in high school when I actively made decisions solely based on other people's possible reactions and words. We all even have our own mechanisms for deflecting or reducing how much and what people make fun of us for. Some people simply make fun of themselves about the things that they are embarrassed or already sensitive about in hopes that by doing so others will focus less on such easy targets. Others simply do not respond or just laugh along with the jokes hoping that the others will simply move along to their next target quickly. Finally some choose to immediately strike back at the taunter with equal or more venom, which usually only provokes the original prodder to think of more inventive and cruel jests. Whichever way you choose to deal with it, it should be obvious to others that you are not in fact kosher with what is being said about you.

So if we feel this way, why do we continue to bad mouth and poke fun at our friends and fellow human beings? Obviously we get some enjoyment from it, and I have heard from sources that laughter is a panacea of sorts. Is it that we are not all inherently funny enough to amuse each other in less destructive ways? Is that why some people latch on to one joke and ride it into the ground? (That's a post for another time but it gives me an excuse to post a picture) Do we simply not care unless we ourselves are the butt of the jokes? Or is it our general lack of self-confidence that we feel we need to cut everyone else down so that they can feel as we do?

Seriously, stop beatin' it. (Only applies to jokes; otherwise it's healthy, and good for grip strength.)

This gets to a deeper problem. How do I make things right? I don't consider myself a particularly mean person, but I am no saint either. I have gotten to the point where often I find myself saying mean things about strangers in my head when no one I know is around. These thoughts are obviously for someone's amusement, but I don't find them particularly funny. Had a friend been around perhaps with the right inflection and timing they might chuckle; but usually what happens is immediately I wonder to myself what good that thought just did. Am I so shallow that my first thoughts about everyone is what makes them suck? Am I just anti-humanity? Perhaps I am mentally preparing myself for a verbal onslaught from them about what they perceive to be my faults? I don't know, but it's disturbing to me every time.

These thoughts have brought me to an experiment I have thought up but have yet to decide to implement.

What would happen if I resolved to not make fun of anyone (to a person or about a person)? How long until I began to feel superior to other people who do make fun of people? (My guess is less than a week moral superiority would start to creep in, most likely of the false variety) Would my friends still find me amusing? Would I myself start feeling less self-conscious? Would I still find myself constantly thinking of how I find other people lacking?

There's a smug cloud a brewin'.

Anyway, it's something I've been pondering for a while.

P.S. If you didn't make it all the way to here you're an idiot and I'm better than you because I can read.