Drunk Myths

Hi. I am drunk right now. And to help you out, I am here to dispell some drunk myths. Many people fall into many cliches about drunkeness and no one ever wants to really explain the reasoning behind their actions, but myself, being drunk, is ready to tackle the drunk myths that have forever plagued our society.

• "I don't remember what happened last night" - This tactic is usually used by the female sex in one of two ways. Either they did something really dumb and got pissed at you for no reason (guys in relationships know what I am talking about) or they engaged in some intimate situation in which they either regret (random hookup) or an initimate situation where they act out thier pornstar dreams. Either way it is an easy way out to keep them catholic school girl-esque in their minds.


• "I nailed this chick last night" - When in fact, he actually fell asleep after pleasuring himself to the Transformers trailer (it's really cool by the way). This tactic is usually used by males to other males to establish their conquering of the opposite sex, however, it usually is false, and everyone knows it, but all the guys listen in to the Hustler-like story to help a friend out.


• "I'm not that drunk!" - Yes you are. You are drunk. You are very drunk. In fact, if someone lit a match while you exhaled, you would shoot out a flame that would make Gene Simmons jealous.


• "I'M SO DRUNK!" - Yes you are. And no one likes you right now. You are loud and annoying. But we will laugh at you regardless.


• "I'm really tired..." - Me after writing this. I hope this is ok. There shouldn't be too many grammatical errors, because people who screw up typing while drunk, only do it on purpose to be really funny (when they really aren't) A true drunk can type ok, their ideas are just retarded (i.e. me!)

Well, I hope you enjoyed this little blog, I am having fun talking to immaginary friends. Take care and happy new years. Prost!!!!