I Hate Thinking of Titles

Stealing a gimmick from the Sports Guy, I'm going to recap some of Spring Break events using quotes from a movie none of you have seen (but should if you enjoy GOB) "Let's Go to Prison."
I won't go to in depth because you can no doubt get a much better account in person from Poppe, Chad or Colbert.

"We should be cellmates. I don't snore, and I'm a quiet masturbator. Hell, I'll even give you the top bunk. " - I'll relate this one to one of the pratfalls of an extended trip with guys, the horny guys stuck in one room who haven't "relaxed" in a while.

"It's okay to cry. Crying takes the sad out of you. " - This one has nothing to do with masturbation...promise. I guess this could relate most closely to our complete lack of winnings. Although I did pull in a clean $8.00 from the slots.

"We're doin' it, man. This is it. We're right in the thick of the action. We hang out here, go to lunch, come back, hang out some more, go to dinner... You know how someone might describe a situation that's unpleasant or confining as being, "like a prison"?" - On Thursday, from 5:30 a.m. to 8:00p.m. Chad was awake for what I believe is 3 hours...on Spring Break, in Vegas. Although his surprise that he was no longer hungover at EIGHT PM! was pretty sweet.

"I'll buy this place and burn this place to the ground." - Only Colbert can do this because he's independently wealthy.

Ok, so that was all I could find, and I don't have the movie with me presently, so you'll have to settle for other GOB lines now.

"It's better than being treated like the goofball... the joker... the magician" - A group of young college aged kids do not get a whole lot of respect in Vegas. Colbert was not happy about waiting 2 hours for more towels. I was not happy about being made fun of by Stahl's cousin, "Crystal". Plus I got carded by everyone, including a vicious staredown by a cocktail waitress who remembered me from the night before only after I ordered a rum and diet coke, which I can only imagine means she wrote "pussy" next to my order.

"Well, we did have sex...and I'm not a great liar." - Figure that one out yourself.

"Attention, everyone! Why go to a banana stand when we can make your banana stand? I give you Barbara and Dee! Don’t worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas." - This one goes out to the gentlemen's club we visited. I'm pretty sure "gulch" should never be used in the title...of anything, although somehow it captured the atmosphere pretty well. Props to Diesel for not reflexively hitting the stripper who licked his hand.

"(about the hot cops) These guys are pros, Michael. They're gonna push the tension 'til the last possible moment before they strip." - This one is for the advertisement for "The Thunder Down Under", to which Colbert unfailingly pointed out his favorite each time we passed.

"Michael, I'm on to you! The Spanish lessons, the lawyer... If you're heading for Portugal it's due south." - This one goes out to Daniel on Family Feud, the comedic highlight of someday (It's actually very hard to distinguish the days, i guess that's what happens when you get 12 hours of drunk sleep spread out over 4 nights), whose response to "name a word that comes after 'dirty'" responded "um.......um.....like....[3 seconds]....um.....BIKE!"


OK, that's all I've got for now, I've gotta read and do law stuffs. Plus I got tired of searching for quotes...no I didn't, I could do that all day. Anyway, tienen un buen dia! Don't forget to vote in our new unfunny poll!

Health and Nutrition

Here's my approximation of an appropriate food pyramid for a person living on their own such as myself. Those of you going off on your own soon would be wise to mimic this, although you will have to be able to ignore the Checkout lady when she looks askance at you when you buy 15 pounds of meat at one time.

A few notes

1. The foods at the lowest end are the ones you eat the most.
2. Salami is the best choice for lunchmeat. It "stays" the longest, and it does not suffer from the "wetness" of other lunchmeats. No one likes wet meat.
3. Bacon is delicious, it really deserves it's own category.
4. Cheese snacks includes crunchy and soft cheetoh type snacks.
5. For those smartasses out there, it says Frozen Pizza, not frozen popcorn.
6. Fruit and "greens" are not important. They didn't invent vitamins so you can be forced to gag down disgusting organic things.
7. Steak would be lower on the pyramid, but it is expensive. I advise stocking up whenever it is on sale.

Blog-related notes

• Since I imagine most everyone who reads this blog will be gone for the next week, this is probably the last post in a while. When we return we can have a competition for most embarrassing photo. Or if you wish, "em-bare-assing"...for the ladies.
• Anyway, please don't call me if you get arrested, I am not allowed to give actual legal advice. Save that 50 cents for a condom for "Bruce." You don't want to leave the slammer with no dignity AND anal warts.