Super Bowl Drinking Game

For the purposes of this game, a drink will be a normal pull of whatever you have in your hand. A shot is a shot, if you have questions about that see Chad.

Colts Fans
1 drink:

• Shot of Peyton on the only corded(cordful?, concorde[spanish with a accent on the e]) phone left in America.
• Marvin catches ball, runs straight out of bounds, avoids shots from deer hunters.
• Defense that was terrible all year makes hand gesture to celebrate ordinary play.
• Vinateiri makes field goal.
• Hunter Smith Punts.
• Colts go three and out.
• Bears returner goes for more than 30 yards on kickoff, 15 yards on punt.
• Archie Manning shown.
• Tarik Glenn false starts.
  

1 shot:

• Peyton throws to guarded receiver on 4th down in vain attempt to get pass interference call; doesn't.
• Terrence Wilkins fumbles football on obvious fair catch situation.
• Vinateiri misses field goal.
• Peyton throws interception.
• Lineman scores touchdown for/against Colts.
• Dallas Clark suffers 8th hideous leg injury.
• Dirty thoughts about Tony Dungy(see picture)
  

FINISH DRINK(3 shots):

• Peyton Manning scores on 80 yard run, taunts Urlacher, does flip into endzone.

You keep those mental images of naked Tony Dungy to yourself. SHOT!
Click this link http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/2006/06/uhhwtf.gif to actually see it working.

Bears fans
1 drink:

• Rex Grossman makes bad throw.
• Bears run 3 straight times for first down.
• Bears defense holds for 3 and out.
• Hester returns kick for over 30, punt for over 15.
• Bears receiver drops catch.
• Kyle Orton shown on sidelines.
• Grossman does something stupid and Muhsin Muhammad tries his best to not look like he wants to kill him. [sharpe]
• Tommy Harris or Mike Brown get hurt somehow on the sideline. [sharpe]
• 1985 team is mentioned.[sharpe]
• Thomas Jones goes thug and tries to start a fight after a legal tackle.[sharpe]

1 shot:

• Rex Grossman overthrows receiver by at least 10 yards.
• Grossman's QB rating after quarter is less than mine.
• Robbie Gould misses field goal.
• Kyle Orton plays.
  
• Bears intercept Peyton.
• Lineman scores for/against Bears.
  

FINISH DRINK

• Tank Johnson gets sack, 21 gun salutes.
• Ditka saves Miami from a natural disaster.[sharpe]

Brother! You look terrible...

That's all I could think of for now. Suggestions for more are encouraged in the comments, especially from Bears fans since I haven't actually watched them play this year. I'll add the good ones to the lists. I've been itching to put up that little animation of the guy checking out Dungy forever. I don't care if you've already seen it. It's from Deadspin.

Peyton's not so bad...

I don't understand why everyone seems to hate Peyton Manning. Personally I submit that we Colts fans should have exclusive rights to hating him (at least in short bursts as I do).

Reasons for the average fan to not hate Peyton:

• Peyton's dad was an NFL QB, true. But he also sucked, and we can all relate to being forced to play a sport simply because our dad played it, just so he can have a chance to win vicariously. And while it would be awesome to have a NFL QB dad nowadays, back then it did not mean you were uber-rich, as seen by the home footage of Peyton's tiny yard and house.
• Look at him, he's not going to be doing too many Abercrombie ads. Personally I would much rather hate Tom Brady and his never-ending list of celebrity girls than Peyton. I like to know that if we were ever in the same room at least I could think, "he might be rich and famous, but at least I don't look like that."
• He's never won anything. He's reaching legendary status as a great QB who can't win the big game. Why would the average fan hate a QB that makes them think, "well at least we can count on Peyton crapping himself," everytime their team plays the Colts in a meaningful game? I mean honestly, whose team thinks they have no chance when Peyton and the Colts roll in during playoff time?
• Yes, his ads are on all the time, but he doesn't really control that. And hey, it's not like he's out there portraying himself as anything other than a doofus. Nobody at home goes, "damn that guy's cool," after seeing one of them. And at least we haven't seen his mom yet, either.
• All we really know about his music tastes is that he loves Kenny Chesney and country music. That's a reason to pity him, not hate him.
• Did I mention he loses a lot of important games? Fuck that's annoying. I mean seriously, every year is a goddamn tease.
• He works really hard, I guess you can hate him for having a good work ethic, seems more like jealousy though. I mean, if you've ever see him run, he makes it pretty obvious that raw athleticism isn't the a requirement for becoming a superstar.
• He's always trying to make these "intelligent" plays like when he sees someone being interfered and throws at them knowing they won't catch the ball and then if there's no penalty called we just wasted a play. Fuck, I hate that too.
• I mentioned that he's never won anything right? No national titles, no high school championships, no Super Bowls, (I guess a couple of Pro Bowls, whatever that's worth). I mean why hate a guy who doesn't play for your team who can't win a big one?
• Fuck it, I hate him. No, I don't. Yes, I do. Goddamn it why can't you just sack up and play well in one goddamn playoff game. Now I've got to sit around and hope our defense that made sieves look like vacuum capsules plays so well that we can overcome the fact that you get nervous everytime the "Lighting round" comes up on Family Feud. I mean Fuck, will I ever get to win anything as a fan? (no) Fucking Indianapolis and it's fucking tease teams that always are good enough to make the playoffs but can never just play well enough to win the whole thing. I mean goddamn it if the Bears somehow win a Super Bowl with Rex Grossman, Mister -12 fantasy points himself, I don't know what I will do to myself.
• Fuck off, lists over I don't even remember what it started about.