What Happened?
Sorry that this is my first post in a while. I know all(both) of you have been wasting valuable time clicking and being disappointed. Today I would like to address the issue of gayness. Not like same sex "doing it" or anything like that. I mean the culture of gayness that has enveloped us.
For example, I used to have absolutely no interest in clothes beyond the fact that I had a well-established rule with my mom that I could wear shorts as long as the paper said it was going to be at least 50 degrees outside. That was it. My entire focus on wardrobe consisted of:
(1) Making sure that I didn't have to wear jeans. Fuck Jeans, they suck for basketball and they are pants.
(2) Not getting too sweaty. That's why windbreaker outfits were fucking badass. Why is it that now only old people and mobsters get to wear those things and not feel awkward? Why can't I wear those?
(3) Being able to play sports at any moment's notice.
That was it. I wasn't worried about belts, or whether they matched my shoes. I wasn't worried about whether a shirt made me look tall/skinny/fat/dumpy/smurfish. But now, it's all changed. The gayness has affected me deeply. I only shop at certain places now because the other ones are "lame." I only own 3 shirts that have athletic teams/players on them. And I would never wear them to school. HELL, I EVEN WORRY ABOUT WHAT I'M GOING TO WEAR TO WORKOUT IN. That's right, I worry about how I'm going to look when I'm COVERED in sweat. Not today though, today I chose to wear my purple Royal Highlander to work out in, but I still wouldn't wear it to school.
But maybe I have made a mistake. Maybe it's not the gays that have made me more fashion conscious. In fact, the more I think about it, the less I can really blame it on them. Because I thought that I was dressing more grownup/fashionable in high school, but whenever I see those clothes I can only think about how god awful ugly they were. Of course back then I couldn't even contemplate wearing a shirt that cost more than $20. And I brought those same clothes to college. So if it's not the gay culture that got me, then what is it? There can be only one person to blame for this, and his name is Sojo.
That's right, the value of my wardrobe has increased in direct proportion to the time I've known Sojo. As he developed his metrosexual flavor, as did it rub off on me. I've even prepared this graph:
If you have any conflicting/explaining theories, feel free to place them in the comments.
6 comments:
I can't explain it either but have gone through the same process. Just last week I had my eye brows waxed. WTF is up with that?
I've never had anything waxed, but I have had another guy shave my back...although in my defense he did offer to do it.
Chris gets his eyebrows waxed because Brittany makes him...and because he doesn't want to get loose eyebrows in his homemade bread bowl full of spinach dip.
I hope you appreciate all the research I put into that graph.
You can tell for sure that you are in law school. That is hard hitting data.
The 1st time I had my eyebrows waxed my wife hinted at it. This last time it was all my doing.
That graph is pretty impressive. It should be submitted to Conan O'Brien on Late Night.
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