The Real Victims Are the Children pt. 3

Kid walks into his father's den.

Young Adult: Oh hey Dad, what are you up to?
Chad: Huh, what?
Young Adult: (Confused) Oh, sorry, I thought you were looking right at me.
Chad: Don't worry about it. It was just a quick power nap before I go over some more game film.
Young Adult: Why are you still wearing full pads? You know as well as I do the game isn't for another 2 days.
Chad: I'm trying to get into the right frame of mind, this is an important game.
Young Adult: I know that, but you're coaching, and I'm going to need those pads for the game. I thought you were just borrowing them for your own football game, although I was never quite clear why you needed them for flag football.
Chad: Well, there's going to be a lot of pro scouts at the game, and ever since I got the operation that gave me 2 extra inches of height, I've been working out in preparation for my comeback. I brought out my high school pads that you can use for the game. And I'm going to need my number back as well.
Young Adult: Fine, I wish you had let me pick my own number in the first place.
Chad: Don't get all bent out of shape about it Junior. Also, make sure you're looking for me going deep, the corner's will cheat up on me since I'm an unknown.
Chad Jr: Dad, you're not actually going to play.
Chad Sr: Yes I am.
Chad Jr: No you're not.
Chad Sr: Yes, I am.
Chad Jr: Fine, but I am not passing to you.
Chad Sr: If you're trying to sabotage my comeback, then you're benched.
Chad Jr, Chad Sr: Jerk.



Unrelated NOTE: Does any one else get excited when jhutt emails you? I keep hoping that hsolo or lskywalk will be next.

Early Morning Musings

• Punter fight? More or less exciting than a goalie fight. I say more.
• I overheard an IU football player tell someone on the bus that if they play their best every game, they'll go 12-0...wow. I can only imagine that would be the equivalent of me saying, "If I do my best, I could kill a hungry tiger with my bear hands."
• Media Week has probably never been less anticipated. I think the most exciting thing that might happen is that Dungy And Lovie might get caught tonguing in the endzone.
• Hockey's back on tonight, in case you were wondering.
• I've been flushing my toilet with a coat hanger recently.
• Called a girl a "fatty" in my head today because she slowed the bus for 2 seconds while she was getting out of her car that had stopped right in front of us...that was probably impatient, although to my credit she should probably exercise more for her long term health.
• I'm pretty much doing this to avoid starting some homework. I don't know when blue book citation lost its pizazz.
• I noticed our site traffic had a dip in it yesterday, perhaps we need to start planning what we're going to do for "sweeps." If anyone is willing to volunteer to be killed off, I think we could grab some huge numbers that way.
• Speaking of grabbing huge things...nevermind, I didn't grab anything huge recently.
• I probably shouldn't giggle about having "oral argument" later this semester right?
• We're learning about relativity of title in Property Law. For example: There is a group of people at a restaurant who are finished eating. Sojo calls phi's on all of the remaining food. While this does not give Sojo the right to eat food that is claimed by the original owner, his right to the unclaimed food is greater than say, Chad's, who called phi's shortly thereafter as man-pride and dominance establishment law dictated.
• Chad, we would all enjoy a discourse by you on the various nuances of dominance establishment.
  
• Finally, I firmly believe the word "chathlete" should find it's way into the lexicon. I propose that it stands for someone who is deceptively athletic.
• I almost broke my keyboard with my iron fists of tyranny. [updated]