Where were you when you found out Boston was, and still is, retarded? I was more than likely wasting food in my pjs at the Pike house while I skipped either swimming or the black athlete. Thankfully they have a few ok sports teams.
http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/story?id=4156618&page=1
Idiots become cops and this is why cool plots like this are only ever discovered by accident. Another thing which happened by accident? Me.
In light of the Super Bowl being in New England this weekend, I thought that I would take a trip out to Jersey to hang out with some of the fans. These pictures really show what the guys out there are like, and actually explain a lot about why Sojo is Sojo....... so anyway, this is just a preview:
http://damnfunnypictures.com/html/New-Jersey-Douchebags.html
These guys party like no other! I got the chance to work out with a few of them and there was so much grunting I thought that there was gonna be an Umpa Lumpa stampeed.......crazy shit!
This website has a top 20 for the drunkest athletes. Guess who came in at number 12, he is totally being a Pike.
http://www.coedmagazine.com/sports/5082
Oh and make sure you watch the Joe Namath video at #1 it is priceless.
The guy at the table next to me is whispering too himself as he reads his textbook. A highlight included "350 pounds of marijuana, oh my god." He's not white, so I think the Patriout Act says I need to notify the authorities or something. I also need to notify the fashion authorities that he's wearing his jacket over just his shoulders, which I would be cool with but he does have both of his arms, so not this time. Anyway I've got to get back to evidence or I'll never be a better lawyer than Sam Waterston(sp?).
You know, if you're not going to provide any heat, the least you could do is back off a little bit so I can use the projector before 6 pm...asshole.
We are still the only website that comes up when you google "wallsausage". I know because someone actually googled it and came here.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/description_of_sexual_fantasy
Read this and try not to laugh in the middle of my property class.
So I just got back from the Purdue vs U of I game....total Purdue domination. Anyways I decided to check the blog and to my astonishment I had made a post thursday night/friday morning. I actually have no recolection of this post, but I was impressed with my spelling/grammer.
Anyways I guess the point of this is the fact that I was blackout on a thursday and you all had jobs/lawyer school the next day so you werent. HAHA
My first Colts game was the last regular season game ever in the RCA dome. Maybe I should not have gone so Kerry Collins would not have won. That set the tone for the Playoffs, back up QBs winning. Oh well Billy Volecktricity is a baller so no one can be mad, except Chad. Anyways I am drunk and I just wanted to share with everyone that we have a new pledge who looks just like Pat. He is a sophomore who looks like SharpE, who lives in Carey, and when they offered him a bid today they told him he could sign or decline. This kid was ready though and he totally laweryed us and said, "according to IFC rules I can also defer." Which is what he did, I can only assume he is weighing which is his best chance at winning an intramural title in ultimate frisbee. I am so Chad Sweating.
Boo YEa!
Sounds like someone needs some...
I don't know if you all saw this on KSK but I couldn't stop laughing when I saw it. Also, their Rivers stories are close in awesomeness to the Sex Cannon pieces.
Does anyone else feel like now that there are no new shows on that we are suddenly less interesting? I feel like Charlie without any episodes of Law and Order to talk about.*
*Assuming I had people to talk to about them with.
This constant blabbering in regards to Tejada's lying has really made me hungry for Mexican food. Tell me you wouldn't like a big hot bite of Tejada. Please.
In other breaking news I lied three years ago and I've also been doing steroids in order to get strong enough to handle my own monstrous penis. Tom also loves dudes. Even the ugly ones.
Here is another great quote:
Congressman: Mr. Selic (its selig) is it known if Mr. Palmary (its Palmeiro) took steroids before he hit his 300th hit?
Selig: What?
Congressman: I mean his 3,000th hit.
How did these guys get elected, "hit his 300th hit" that has to be the worst possible phrasing, EVER. I am pretty sure an autistic kid could have phrased it better. Also how did they pick these guys to be on this committee, arent there a couple of guys in congress who know a little something about baseball.
This hearing is taking up my huge break today and I couldn't be more disappointed. How do you have Commissioner Selig at your hearing and not say his name correctly? I know they have people who do this kind of research for them and this isn't even his first time at a hearing with this committee. The head of the committee even said his name correctly at the beginning. If I was some shit Rep from California I would at least learn to pronounce last names as this is the only time anyone will ever care about my job. They are going to be fuck when Commissioner :ALKJDF:LKJ of men's field hockey comes on to discuss the fact that field hockey is promoting a culture of lame sports.
Continuing on with my bitching, are these the actual questions they want to know about? These questions are retarded. "Do you support the code of silence amongst players?" Really? That is your best question? I thought at first that he was just setting that question up to kill Selig on follow up but, nope, he just wanted to know if Selig went momentarily retarded.
Also, what is the deal with all the people sitting in between the Reps and Selig? Did all the speakers get to bring their kids? Would one camera really not be enough? How many channels are covering this bullshit? Fuck? Not only do you have to deal with retards in front of the Reps but then the cameras continually pick up the people behind Selig doing either sporting corny smiles ever or picking their nose. Selig at one point had his finger in his nose for around 2 minutes. No joke.
I'm actually a little upset about this but I'm most upset that this wasn't taking place in the British Parliament. How great would it be to make Clemens come on and say he didn't do steroids only to hear a few people yell out "bullshit!"?
PS-Did anyone see the guy mention how his son played baseball and how he was trying to get in shape only for the camera to show a visibly pissed Selig? I don't blame you Bud. I don't give a fuck either.
PSS-My new goal in life is to be the person during a Congressional hearing who gets to hand one of the speakers a note. My note would actually just be a picture of my penis.
PMS-Petty Monster Syndrome! Am I right? BURN!
I am a little disappointed in the Bulls effort this year. They managed to get Scott Skiles fired and have reformed to the early post Jordan days. There is one thing that has made me happy so far.
Joke-im Noah was suspended one game for back talking to some of the coaches. The players took it upon themselves to tell the interim head coach that one game was not enough so they suspended him a second game. I have never heard of the players unanimously vote a player to sit. I am so happy that it happened to the most overated college player ever.
And the fact that Noah probally celebrates Kwanza really makes it the best present ever.
Dear Kwanzaa Santa,
The only thing I want for this amazing, African holiday is for the Colts to lose to a Chargers team only playing backups. If you were going to give me a few other presents I would also like the Cowboys to lose on the same day and for the Packers to make it to the Superbowl only to get crushed.
Love,
Patawana Lay-ya
PS-Since everyone is know back in school I expect the blog to heat up faster then Beno's love life.
Umm....why is our blog pink? Did Pat make this request since pink is his favorite color, and musical artist?
I'm watching the Cleveland broadcast of the Cavs-Sonics game on NBA league pass, and I stumble upon a commercial for farmersonly.com. Why do farmers need their own dating site you ask? Because "city folks just don't get it."
I keep trying to figure out when they are playing, maybe somebody can help me out?
