Worst SB Ever?

I was unfortunate enough to do nothing last week despite my regorious attempts to find a suitable warm weather location two days before Spring Break. Instead, I spend a week back in Park Ridge where I enjoyed such activities as golf, being cold (different day), drinking at home, watching endless college basketball, and spending unfair amounts of money at Chicago bars. However, I did come to some realizations:

1. Weed makes you unbelievably useless - Several friends I visited back home recently rented a house for several months in Park Ridge. No one rents a house in my suburb unless you are 40 and recently divorced or a wantabe child molester. I happened to walk into the basement to witness several once very driven, intelligent individuals standing around playing misc. musical instuments that played together was the worst music I've heard in a long time. (They would have disagreed considering they were baked as hell.) There were several cashed kegs, at least ten smoken pot bowls, and empty ciggarettes packs everywhere. I was told one of thier visitors had been there for 3 days and had not yet gone home. (He lives about a ten minute walk away.) These friends of mine were once engineers at U of I, a law school hopeful at Iowa, and a poli-sci student at U of Colorado (no suprise). After 4 years of smoking pot they all managed to fail out, some of them multiple schools, and find thier true calling living in the basement of a house stoned as hell 24/7. I can't say I have never been stoned before, (clearly all of you can call me out) but you would have to agree that smoking pot can be an activity or a lifestyle. How sad, how a non-addictive drug can make people retarded.

2. You should have listened to BJ Novak - Two of my roomates admittedly purchased an $18 beer over break. Seriously, did this beer have coke in it or was it something the cute witress recomended?

3. There is a hidden reason behind the "hot" bar scene in any big city - Paying a $20 cover to drink weak ass $7 vodka tonics at Ontourage, Reserve, or Soundbar in Chicago to be with the "hot crowd" is never worth your time or money. Why are there women dressed in practically no clothes, not drinking, dancing on tables and flirting with the bottle service crowd? They are paid to. If it looks too good to be true, it probably is. These women are paid by promotors to get you hard and guilty for not throwing down mad cash to pick up the girls that will never go back to your place because thier old high school BF is still going to pick them up when they get off work. And if they are dancing on tables and will go home with you that night...well, im sorry you made that mistake. Don't tell Sojo though, it would ruin his night.

4. Don't go to the Weiners Circle and ask for a chocolate shake - The Wieners Circle is a famous hot dog spot in L Park open late where drunken college students go for late night antics. The fun part is, you are supposed to insult the black women working. No matter what you say, they will come back with the most racist derogative thing you have ever heard. Sojo argued that he didn't get his two hot dogs and the woman said she would give it to him for a manicure and free dry cleaning. She also called him, "A Chink-fried rice mother fucker." Anyways, if you ask for a chocolate shake the 220lb back women taking your order will lift up her shirt and jump up and down in your face. I don't recomend it.

5. Don't knock the guys that didn't graduate in four years - I am now one of them. At least I am trying not to be by graduating in May and coming back in August. At least I have an excuse right?