If I Have Learned Anything in Life, It's That You Can Never Have Too Many Nicknames.

Talk about a sad holiday. First the Godfather of Soul bites it on Christmas, then in an act of defiance President Ford croaks the next day. The thing that sucks the most is James Brown is going to get shafted on this death duel. I mean, talk about the ultimate one-upsmanship. James Brown is like your drunk friend at the bar who always tells you exactly how they feel. You might wonder to yourself quietly, 'I don't think they are doing too well, I think they might have had too much' and then low and behold, "I FEEL GOOD!" right before they do another shot and smack a girl on the ass. I'm not sure if this is really how James Brown was, but it's how I would like to remember him... that and also by this amazing
celebrity mug shot that would rival that of Nick Nolte. Thank you internet!
Now lets move on to President Ford. He is like that neighbor guy who everyone always talks about being a really great guy and how much he does for neighborhood, but yet, you never see him do anything. All you ever hear about him is the stuff that happened before you when he saved that cat in the tree. I mean, the guy became President by default. James Brown became the Godfather of Soul by being the Hardest Working Man in Showbusiness. While Ford came up short in the fight against communism in Vietnam, not to mention hippies back home, James Brown helped set the tone in Rocky IV by singing "Living in America" before Apollo Creed's dramatic death at the hands of the communist Russian boxer Ivan Drago. Apollo thought that the Russian would be no match for The Dancing Destroyer, The Master of Disaster, The King of Sting, and The Count of Monte Fisto however his fate was met. "If he dies, he dies," Drago exclaimed, bringing about looks of amazement as he put together more than 3 words to form a sentence. But even Rocky couldn't stay down with James saying, "Get up! Get on up! Get up! Get on up!" So what did Rocky do? Rocky got up. And he pummelled the steroid-taking, flat-top sporting, Bridgette Nielson humping Drago down, defeating communism with the courageous words in front of the Prime Minister declaring, "If I can change, you can change, WE CAN ALL CHANGE!" And that is how communism was defeated by James Brown.
So I hope that when you are driving around your town, and you see flags at half mast, you take a minute and think about the President that let the Vietnam domino fall, and then focus on the real reason why the flag is at half mast, because we lost the man, the myth, and the legend... that singlehandedly set in motion the events that would lead to the fall of communism.