How much would you pay to shit yourself?

Call me old fashioned, but when a drug has the side effects of: "The stool may become oily or loose (steatorrhea). Increased flatulence is also common. Bowel movements may become frequent or urgent, and rare occurrences of fecal incontinence have been seen in clinical trials; the alli website recommends that users wear dark pants, and take a change of clothes with them to work," I usually don’t even consider taking it.

Sadly, due to the over-indulgent Americans along with their tendency to cling to the latest trends, stores can’t seem to keep this drug on the shelves. A close source who works at the Walgreen’s corporate office in purchasing and distribution revealed that the day of the products release, all the Walgreen’s in the Chicagoland area ran out of the pill. How sick is the American public (I think I can safely say in this case, mostly women), how gullible are you that you will go to the length of shitting yourself while your at work, or while your in class just to lose a few extra pounds. The website says it plain and clear, "In one-year clinical trials, between 35.5% and 54.8% of subjects achieved a 5% or greater decrease in body mass, although not all of this mass was necessarily fat. Between 16.4% and 24.8% achieved at least a 10% decrease in body mass." This means that if you lose 50 pounds in a year, which is healthy, and you take this pill you will lose an extra 5 pounds, at a cost of $730!! The package when bought costs $70 for a one month supply. Can you imagine paying $146 to lose one pound, cause thats what your doing.


I know I have gone on a rant, but if you know anyone who is stupid enough to take this, please slap them in the fucking face, kick them in the ass (check their pants first), and make them read about how fucking stupid they are for paying money to shit themselves, I know old people who do that everyday for free.

Always remember, the Hoff says, "Don't Do Drugs"