The Bears beat the Colts
Well I've finally lost what little respect I never had for Peyton Manning and can now faithfully say that I respect Grossman more as a QB and a man. I now present Exhibit A-
When you are a Sex Cannon you do not let a soul crushing Super Bowl loss keep you down. You either black out to where you don't remember what happened during the game (wonder what that is like...) or you go and cheat on your wife with a bunch of willing playmates. Do you know why the reason the Bears lost the Super Bowl is smiling? He is about to have the GOOD kind of four way (much harder to pull of than even the BAD kind of three way*). These ladies are going to experience the one and only time Rex actually throws something to the right person. This rare occurrence happens when he is throwing eleven ropers at the faces of playboy models**. Rex is hooking up with women so hot that I would literally shower in their collective rinse water from the dentist office. He went from the biggest loser in Chicago (minus Sojo) to crushing nearly all of us at life (I still have my Contra 3 skills to fall back on).
Exhibit 2 (or B)-
In the words of anyone who has ever smelled me on a Saturday morning, "what the fuck?" Peyton Manning was a total and utter nerd before winning the Super Bowl. No one in their right mind would argue this. Ever. Even Chad knows for a fact that he was more hip than Peyton pre-Super Bowl. Then, he gets the ultimate chance to be a cool guy, a Super Bowl win/Super Bowl MVP! He, for a time, was actually the single most noteworthy man in the world (before you say some random scientist or leader let me say shut up because I no doubt do not care about them). How do you mess this up? You make a guest appearance at a 16 year old's birthday*** for $200,000 which you aren't going to use to "make it rain." Peyton really needs 200 grand? Seriously? Did you pull a Kobe and cheat (Kobe actually raped someone [I also hate Kobe]) on your wife? Let's wait a sec for Chad to get back from punching another hole in the wall (inside joke that I refuse to explain). Ready? OK! Want to know something better you can do? I can think of three (see above). You have the one up on everyone in the world yet you decide to spend time with small children. These kids aren't even retarded charity cases. I would write it off as a decent sympathy bang move if you were championing the cure for the common cold or for being a Cubs fan past age 8. You instead have decided to help spread cream on a rich kid's cake while Rex is spraying down playmates with Rextasy cream. Seriously Peyton, I know no one can understand a damn word you say but COME ON! You could have sex with any of the 3 attractive women in Indy. Hell, even St. Louis' 7 attractive women would let you wiggle on top of them for the two minutes you pretend to enjoy sex with a woman for shutting up all the Bears fans. Shit! I hate you so much right now that only a video game post will cheer me up...
*not that I would ever know...
**is it even modeling if you are mostly naked? I don't call showing people the helicockter modeling. I just call it worthwhile for whoever is in eye sight.
***I know for a fact this isn't a Diwali festival because no one is in costume.
PS I put porn in the label so that more people would find the site in a search.
6 comments:
I realize now that everyone else will just skip my video game post so I will just summarize.
http://thelastboss.com/post.phtml?pk=2368
I was just going to talk about this article and how I'm pissed that I will prolly buy a PS3 now. I really think this will be a huge smash for Sony due to the fact that it is the best of the Wii and 360 combined. I will now go back to being just a pervert past his prime. Thank you. Penis.
Let's see...would I hang out a bunch of lame kids at $50,000 an hour, or have sex with some playboy models who would have sex with Hugh Hefner...willingly? I'm honestly going to pick the former.
Rex is not smart, here's the math
4way=3 babies + chance of twins = rex's salary/ lots of alimony = rex offering to shoot off his sex cannon in your pick-up for $20
Bonus points if you made the Boogie Nights connection
THAT WAS AWESOME, will you share a virtual apartment with me? We can make salami sandwiches naked...
If you want to do a video game post, we should do a combined one made up of our love for TIE Fighter, that was luckily overshadowed that night because Jeremy admitted he had hosted a LAN party, that was huge for us.
That was such a loser free card. I'm almost afraid to write about the TIE fighter game for fear of a death brawl over whether the tie advanced or defender is better. Someone random would then prolly chime in that the interceptor was best and they would have to be killed.
I will also share a private, virtual space with you. I actually really do think that Sony really hit it out of the park with their online community though. It is Snow Crash! (one person in the world knows what I'm tlaking about and that person is my dad)
This was our 100th post...I'm so proud.
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