Things That Piss Me Off

Well, because I am always the cheery one, I was in one of my usual good moods this weekend, thinking about butterflies and build-a-bears, when I started thinking about things that I don't like. So, in a Family Guy-esque segment for Barely Breathing, here are some, Things That Piss Me Off...

1. When People Say, "Drive Safely"
I do not understand why people say this. If I tell you I'm going to head out and go home, why would you say, "drive safely". Do you really think I'm going to just hop in my car and drive like a fuckin idiot? Oh, drive safely?? Oh, ok, I got it, I was just going to fall asleep while driving and hope that the Force will take over and guide me home safely. (Note to readers - Falling asleep behind the wheel of motor vehicles is a detriment to your car's safety, as well as your personal safety.)



2. People Referring to Other People at Parties as "That Guy"
What the hell does this mean? That guy can range from the guy being loud to the guy who stands behind hot chicks and looks confused to the creep that touches girls butts and then runs away. Ok, so I made up the last one, but I have a feeling that that person would be a definite candidate for "That Guy".

3. Girls Who Quote Sex and The City or Dave Matthews Band on Their Profiles
Thats about as cool as the nerd down the hallway at the dorms Freshman year who only wears dragon T-Shirts that he got from Wal-Mart quoting Nietsche on his AIM profile, gImLeY07LOTR. Grow up, Carrie Bradshaw is not real, you are not Carrie, your friend is not Miranda, and your life will never resemble theirs. As far as Dave Matthews goes, or should I say DMB, the guy may have some catchy music if you are baked out of your skull and like 30 minute long noise exhibitions, but just because they have a violin in their band does not make them musical pioneers.

4. Bandwagon Fans
Oh wow, you're a Cubs fan? Seriously, thats awesome, yea, me too, oh yea, I know, the Goat, oh yea, and Bartman. My favorite part about the Cubs??? Uhh, oh yea, thats right, their pitching staff. Did anyone even know anything about the Cubs that year? All I ever heard about was how everyone claimed to be the most diehard Cubs fan that year and all they could say was, "Thier pitching staff is awesome, I mean, Prior?!?! You kidding me?" I couldn't stand that, until a year or two later when all of the die hard lifelong Cubs fans all of a sudden became White Sox Fans.

5. Small Video Game Stores
Hi, I like to play video games. They are fun, time consuming, and an escape where I can dream of a life that doesn't so closely resemble mine. Am I obsessed with them? No. Do I enjoy them more than the average person? Well, you can decide that. Anyways, what bothers me is when I go to a small video game store and I say, "Hey, do you have [insert title here]?" And the fan boy behind the counter wearing his vintage Evil Dead 2 shirt with hiking boots and olive green socks pulled up to his knees with enough acne to make the Proactive people quit says, "Are you kidding me? Yeah, it's out... since January. I've beat it on Easy, Medium, Legendary, and Excalibur settings. I've also written my own mod and developed a patch so I can incorporate it into my World Of Warcraft character." I hate being belittled by people that jerk off to Japanese cartoons.

I have to stop this, I will continue this series later on, but right now I am getting so mad at these stupid things I am going to be in a bad mood all night. Take care... and Drive Safely!!!

Update: Wow... Ok, so this was going to be the end of the post, but I found one more thing that SEVERELY pisses me off. When I go to put up little pictures for my post, which is probably one of my more favorite things to do, and because the internet is so slow, I feel like I'm on AOL at my parents house in sixth grade listening to that horrible modem white noise sound waiting for that damn running man to finish up and just let me HEAR THE GUY SAY, "YOU"VE GOT MAIL!!!!!!!" This is 2007. Things are supposed to be so advanced I can't even fart without some robot extinguishing the smell. In Back to the Future, it was 2015 when he went back to the future and they had flying cars!!!! I can't even look up pictures on the internet without it taking 20 minutes for the freakin picture to download. I'll post useless pictures tomorrow when hopefully a technological miracle happens and I can view multiple images within the same hour. Toodles.