hey horses, fuck you

When did horses become something that was news worthy? Cool, someone ejected an animal with alcohol. This sounds like something I can get behind. Drunk people are always a riot and there are zero consequences that I can think of. Did it do some funny on accident? Did it not leech of its owners more than I do with my parents? Oh, it just stopped being a bitch before it raced (the one thing that is asked of it before it spends the rest of it's time having sex)? Wow, horses suck.

Hey horses, good luck out there despite my feelings, break a leg. What? You have a good chance of dying if you break a leg? Good thing you only have four. I am one of the world's most fragile people and I've broken a leg.* I am not writing this from the grave. Wow, horses suck.

Not Dead

Almost Dead

Hey kids lets take a trip down to the petting zoo. Look there is a goat, sure Kimmy, pet that little bastard. Why are there no horses? Sorry Timmy, a horse would bite off your damn hand or kick you in the face. Just be happy with those smelly pellets coming out of the machine that should be filled with delicious runts. I agree Jimmy, horses suck.

I shouldn't give horses a completely bad rap though. Look at all the people who enjoy horses. There are jockeys who are small enough to feel as if they should freak me out, white Derby fans who still believe the Civil War was about States rights and that those damn darkies were completely happy as slaves, and creepy little girls who feel the need to show their love in shirt form. How many people under 75 even watch horse racing? One crown on an animal is retarded so I can only wonder how silly a triple crown would look like. Even Elmer and his amazing glue has decided to ditch horses for volatile chemicals. Good job horses, people would rather fear death from fumes than cut you up AFTER you are dead. Fucking horses can't even become glue correctly. Wow, horses fucking suck. My Prince Charming is a Stud

*non Wii related injury