Your In Trouble buddy

Hey, guy in urinal one space from me. I know it's just me and you in the bathroom, but do you still have to fart and moan while you are peeing. I know it feels good...but Come on!

And hey, I know that flushing and washing your hands could be taking up valuable time that you may not have on your way to eating mashed potatoes bare handed, but when there's other people in the bathroom, can you at least humor us into thinking we won't be getting your urine on our hands when we have to touch the door on the way out. When it's just you in there...have at it, pee on the floor, pee on your hands, rip wet farts that dribble down your leg, whatever. Come On!



by the way...props to me on the title pun

Thank god we finally got that picture off the front page.

Robot Chicken

Remember the skit about most one sided fist fights:
(warning - - this is terrible)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvi4L21-kHo

I am a Hero

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Fundamental Engineering

I like religious philosophy, sorry Adam. I find that I can manipulate it into me being a good (decent) person and this makes me extremely aroused and pleased with myself (difference?). I also get to hear incredible comments from the religites which have the chance to absolutely slay me at least once a class. Normally I just chuckle and go back to ranking the girls in class in order of how much I want to give them a religious experience but today I almost died via comment (not to rise again).


We were discussing (bashing) the scientific revolution and how it doesn't exactly "fit" with the medieval church when Newton came up. I thought gravity was just one of those things everyone accepted, kinda like how everyone knows I've got the fast fingers this side of the Mississippi (yes I did the spelling song in my head-eat me). Not true on idea one. The teacher asked the class if we thought a pencil would hit the ground if she dropped it. Everyone nods which she takes as disagrement so she went ahead and dropped the pencil. To my utter shock the poor thing hits the ground and she says that it was obviously gravity which forced the pencil to hit the ground. Boom. A hand goes up followed quickly by my interest in the conversation. A young religite is called upon and drops this jew, "it ACTUALLY hit because God allowed it to hit" (spelled with a capital G because this is the one I believe in).


I'm stunned. I wait for him to laugh with him showing me nothing. I force my head to scan the room only to see that half of the class is sharing my oral love ready open mouth. I let out a 5/10 chuckle but stop when I realize he had a Purdue Engineering shirt on.* This scares me. I want my engineers to believe in gravity. This idea seems to be important when they are building bridges, designing roller coasters, or train conducting (aka the only three cool jobs they can get). We later joke about elves in trees actually being the cause of wind and some strange joke about 4 year-old children working and getting their arms ripped off but I'd already logged off for the day. I can only hope God allows this to post.


*it was one of those retarded "Top 10 Reasons I'm an Engineer" shirts which always start with 1.) I refuse to have friends/fun and end with me having already lost focus

The office tonight

Roy: "I am going to kill Jim Halpert". Psyched.

Randoms

I hate teachers that don't keep up to date with current events. I am taking a strategic mgmt class. I wouldnt be if it wasnt required. Basically they talk about the benefits of marketing strategies in foriegn countries, mergers/acquisitions, Porters 5 forces model...etc. This is stuff that corporations do on enormous scales. This is not something you can have a class about. Maybe if you were teaching Jack Welsh, the ex-CEO of GE, but we are about to be entry level employees. Do they seriously think we are going to have the ability to make these kinds of decisions anytime soon, if at all in our lives? I doubt that anyone I know will be able to walk into thier job and say, "I think we should merge with our overseas competitor and this is why" and not have thier boss say, "who are you again?" It just pisses me off that the class is meant to teach you "strategy in management." The idea is fucking ludacris to begin with considering in any company there is going to be a unique stratagy for that industry, size, time....whatever. There is never going to be one answer, there is going to be hundreds. Stop trying to teach me common fucking sense in decision making.

Okay, now back to the out of touch teachers. This class I'm ranting about is also taught be a 45ish year old women that probably has not picked up a newspaper in months. She trys to mention impressive facts about companies but her information is so out of date. The other day she said that Land Rover, Aston Martin, and Jaguar are great assets to Ford because of their diversification potential. Ford is trying to sell all three, (actually they just did sell aston martin), because of quality issues and lack of cash flow. When I told her this, which is not new news, she looked puzzled and said i was wrong. This is one of many examples of her stupidity/lack of relevant knowledge.

Just so there isnt any biased suspected, I am getting a pretty good grade in this class. I just really dont see why I have to waste my time.

Contractual Obligations

I hate when I check a blog and they haven't posted anything for the day... so here it is bitches (Gun Cocks) (bullets fire)...that was about all I had. Maybe I'll update it later...maybe.

By the way, I was in the locker room the other day and an old man was using the urinal "Four-year old boy" style. You know, drop your pants to the floor, ass out. It was awesome. Almost better than when I walked in and the nude old man was weighing himself...almost. Remind me to use more lotion...on my skin, so it doesn't get so saggy. Get your mind out of the gutter.